Monday, August 30, 2010

Seriously???





About a month ago the kids and Daniel found a pretty big bull snake. I told them they could go ahead and put it in Pac-man's (our deceased frog) tank. I still do not know why I told them they could do that. So we had it for about a week and then while I was on the trek it escaped! Poor Shana was here keeping the kids when it got out. He had pushed the top off the tank and just slithered away. They tore the house apart and looked everywhere. They couldn't find it. When I got home from the trek they told me it was out somewhere in the house. So I started in one end of the house and began looking for this stupid snake. I looked in every toy bin, every drawer, under every bed, behind every dresser, every single little space possible, I looked. I could not find it. So I was hoping that it had somehow gotten out. But in the back of my mind I knew it was somewhere in my house. It was hungry too because it had not eaten since the boys caught him. So I went to bed every night just knowing that it was in my house somewhere. Everyday when I was cleaning I was on the look out for that stupid stupid snake. At the time Luke was in Pennsylvania and he told me, "they come out at night when it is dark and quiet so some night when you are caring Kooper up to bed you are going to step on him." Well that about freaked me out so guess what? Kooper slept with me for the next 3 weeks. But in the middle of the night I did turn on all the lights and sneak in to check on all my other kids to make sure that it hadn't curled up to one of them. This went on for sometime. Then one day I needed to go to the grocery store and Kali was asleep so Kyron stayed with her and I took the other 3 with me. I was just about home when I got a phone call from Kyron.

Him: Mom, I see the snake!!!!

Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Are you kidding me? WHERE!!!!!!!

Him: I am sitting on the couch watching TV and he is by the back door.

Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh well get him, hurry Kyron catch him. You can't let him get away, hurry just grab him and throw him outside!!!!!!

Him: Ok Mom, where are you?

Me: I will be there in like 3 minutes. Do not let him get away. OMGOSH!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

In my mind I was thinking, who can I call? Who can I call to help me? Luke is gone, Dad is out of town, my mind was blank. I couldn't think of anyone to help me. Plus most guys are probably just as scared as I am of snakes. I didn't think I was too scared of snakes until one was loose in my house! So I called my little brother Tim in California. He gave me a few instructions but he wanted to stay on the phone and hear everything. So I walked in the house to find Kyron standing in front of the fridge. He had tried to catch it but it slithered to the kitchen and went under the fridge. So for about 2 hours we sat there and waited for it to come out. We had flash lights looking at him under the fridge watching his every move. The boys had pokers and sticks trying to push him out. We had moved the fridge as much as we could. We could see him for sure though. I was on the counter filming it with my video camera and screaming everytime he made a move. I was so afraid that he would get out and that he would be lost in my house again! Obviously he was comfy here. Tim was on speaker listening to the whole thing. Then all of a sudden he started coming out. We waited until he was all the way our and then Kyron made his move. He threw a towel on it but it didn't do any good. I was standing on my island screaming at poor Kyron. It was huge! It was striking at him. He was not happy!! He was going all over my kitchen floor trying to find a place to go. Kyron kept trying to throw a towel over it but it did not matter the snake was too fast. Kyron opened one of the drawers and grabbed tongs. Really tongs??? He was trying to get a hold of him with some tongs. This whole time Kason was outside trying to make some sort of concoction to catch him with. Well it was a little too late for that. I was still on the counter just screaming. There was no way I was going to catch it or even try it catch it. That was the boys job. I was yelling at Kyron, "just catch it. Put the tongs down and just grab him with your hands! Come on Kyron, get him hurry!" The snake suddenly disappeared under my dishwasher. I was so frustrated! Kyron looked at me after I had been screaming at him to get the snake and said, " Why are you yelling at me? I tried my best Mom, so you do it now." Oh I felt so bad!!!! I said, "I am not yelling at you, I am just yelling cause I am kinda scared. I am so sorry!" Then he looked at me and started laughing. He said, "I think you said a bad word Mom!" I said, "I am so sorry, I am freaked out. Now we are never going to get this stupid snake out." So we laughed for awhile then we were like, crap what do we do??

Oh yea, remember Tim is on speaker phone listening to the whole thing. He later said it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. He hadn't been that entertained ever. He was loving it. We were all screaming and yelling. WOW!

All of a sudden a thought came to me! Duh, call Daniel! He is the one who caught this stupid snake for them in the first place. Why I hadn't thought about him before I don't know. So he ran over and pulled the dishwasher out. NO SNAKE! What the crap!! There was a little hole that went down into our crawl space and so that was the only place he could have gone. We got our flash lights and went under the house trying to find him. We couldn't find him. So there was nothing else we could do. How was I ever going to get this snake out?? So for the next 2 weeks I worried and worried that he had found his way back into our nice cozy house. We searched and searched. No sign. The kids would try and scare me all the time and say they had found the snake, when they never had. They just got a reaction out of me so they loved scaring me.

Then one day I was cleaning out our closet under the stairs and Kason comes in with a serious look on his face and says, "Mom, you have to believe me when I tell you this, I am telling the truth, I am NOT kidding! I found the snake!" Of course I screamed and ran to get up high on a counter. I just said, "hurry get me the phone!" So I called my Dad..

Him: Hello

Me: Hurry Dad, get over here right now. We found the snake!!

Him: I think I could probably make it later today or tomorrow bahhhhhaaaahhhh

Me: No, I am not kidding Dad get over here.

Him: Ok I'll be right there. hahahahahahah

So he walks in to find me on my bathroom counter. He of course is dying laughing. Kyron and Kason have got a bucket and a pillow case for him. The snake was in my closet up on a shelf. How in the heck did he get in there. My Dad took one look at him and said, " you know last night he slithered through your bedroom, got in all your dresser drawers, climbed up on your bed, licked your face a few times, came into your closet and then sat here and watched you get dressed this morning." Seriously, how sick is that!! It just gave me the heebee geebees. So my Dad reached right up and grabbed him. He couldn't get him in the bucket or the pillow case because he was wrapped too tight around his arm. I was running around the house screaming. My Dad thought it was all so funny and he took his time taking him outside. Yes!!! FINALLY the stupid snake was gone! I could rest easy again.

Then it was time to pack to head off to California for our family vacation. It was late and we were trying to pack and get things together. Luke comes out of our bedroom into the living room and said, "Lin, come here." I said, "what?" He said, "just come here." I said, "what is it? Is it a mouse? Because I am not kidding I don't want to see it!" He just smiled and said,"just come on." So I walk in our bedroom and in his top drawer where all his swim shorts were, is the skin that the snake had shed. He had shed his skin in Luke's drawer!! I just about died right then and there. I crawled up on our bed and just freaked out a little. Seriously! He HAD been in all our drawers and ALL over our house! Who knows what he really did in our house. So lesson learned. We will never have a snake again in our house. I don't know what I was thinking when I told them they could keep it in the cage. I really didn't think he'd get out. Boy was I wrong!

10 comments:

Melis said...

WOW! That's all I can say. I can't even explain the emotions I had reading that. I was ready to go jump on MY counter, just at the thought of it! YUCK! I hate snakes so bad. You were brave to let it in your house to begin with...your kids will remember this story FOREVER!!! You will always laugh about it.

Rylee said...

ok i have the full blown heebie geebies now! the thought of a snake crawling around your house at night while you are peacefully sleeping is like the most disturbing thought ever, i am so glad you finally caught him. oh and your dad is so hilarious.

Amanda said...

lol! I still can't stop laughing. Dad cracks me up. Seriously thats just nasty, your crazy for letting them have that snake in the hous. I'm glad I left the day I did because it got out about 2 hours after I handed over the kids to shan. ;)

Kasey Sass said...

OH MY GOSH!!! I think I would have been at a hotel that entire time. I just don't do snakes! You're a brave woman for sticking it out. And I gotta say... That story is absolutely AWESOME!!

Heather said...

Ewww! I am dying, laughing so hard.
It would freak me out too.
BTW, I heart your wood floors. Beautiful!
Glad he's gone for good.

Tori said...

Haha that was seriously so funny when you guys were on the phone with Tim. We were dying! Glad you finally got the snake out!

Hannah said...

Your dad cracks me up!! Snakes are NOT welcome in my house, under any circumstances!! What a freaky feeling knowing that it had been all over your house!! I hope it was a male and did not have babies some where in your house!(just a thought, sorry) Love you Linde!!!

Carol said...

shudder......

Dawn said...

I laughed so hard while reading this! I think I feel the same way about snakes and about slithery things in general. Yikes. I would have loved to listen in like your brother. But the shed skin, that is way too heeby jeeby! Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it!

Jaime said...

I am petrified of snakes. I don't think of could have even slept in my house knowing a snake was in there. Very entertaining story!